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Loving your original foundation

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We all have an original foundation.

This foundation is made up of the building blocks that were created when we were little. These foundational blocks, or beliefs, shape how we interact with the world.

Quite often, when people need therapeutic help, it stems from misalignment and confrontation with that original foundation.

Your original foundation can also be thought of as your inner child. So many of us have wounded inner beings from our past that just want to be loved. Creating real and lasting change in life requires seeing, hearing, and interacting with that original foundational being, and unconditionally accepting and loving them. They were shaped long ago, and can not be changed. Acceptance of this being as they are is the path to feeling security as a grown up.

I like to think of this inner being as one of the smallest in a set of nesting dolls. Throughout life we add more layers over this small being, burying them deep within. But the fact still remains that they are within us, and they can create the reactions of an insecure child that is acted out through an adult body.

Full acceptance of this foundational being can be hard because our adult mind perceives it as weakness. But the ironic thing is that being brave enough to give this little being what it needs opens up a broad path to strength in adulthood. But working with the inner child can feel very vulnerable, because you have to let that being emerge. And since that being is a part of you, you get to feel what they feel.

That can be hard. As hard as it is to watch a child in this world suffer. In that moment of suffering, adults have a choice; ignore it and walk away, or engage and comfort. To truly free yourself form the fears that little being harbors, you have to engage and comfort. Otherwise they stay scared and hidden, but always present in the background of your thinking life.


There’s lots of advice on connecting with your inner child. Here’s an approximation of an exercise I learned from Positive Intelligence. It was powerful in helping me really connect with that small version of me that resides within.

After several minutes of meditative breathing with your eyes closed, imagine approaching yourself as a child. Imagine them in a place that made them feel safe, even if it was just momentarily. See yourself walking towards that child, observing them.

And notice them seeing you. How do they look? What are they feeling emotionally?

Now approach them, sit down, gather them into your arms, and give them any comfort they need. You can speak any words that come to mind. You can cradle and rock them, rub their back, whatever feels natural. If you can, stay in this moment for as long as you need to.

Now imagine that your inner child has a gift to give you. Some sort of token that represents your connection. See what they have to offer and accept that gift.

Stay with the image of this gift as you come back to waking life.

Call back on these images whenever you want to in order to acknowledge that little being within.  Use it to create love and compassion for this version of yourself that was in the process of learning and growth, and picked up injuries along the way.


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