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So a few days ago I was sitting on a toilet, as humans tend to sometimes do, and a thought struck me; I am sitting on this toilet because I BELIEVE I can sit on this toilet. If I didn’t believe it was safe and would support me, the toilet would be a no go.
The toilet of yesterday
Most little kids don’t believe they can use a toilet when their parents first start coaxing them to. Why?
There’s water in the toilet.
There’s a hole at the bottom of the water.
When the handle is pushed, the water swirls and gets sucked down the hole at the bottom.
That’s some scary shit! How’s a little kid to know that they won’t fall in the toilet (which is made for an adult size body) and get sucked down the hole? I remember as a little one being bribed with Hershey’s Kisses to use the real toilet, rather than my little training toilet.
And after several attempts, much to my parents delight, I finally believed that I could use the toilet. That I could sit on it and not fall in. That a flushing toilet wasn’t going to suck me down into the depths of the sewer.
I’m really glad I built that belief. It comes in pretty handy as an adult.
As adults, we’re not done building belief. Every time we try or do something new, we have to build new beliefs.
As new parents, we build a belief that we actually can raise another human being.
At a new job we build belief that we can actually perform our new role and assimilate into the company.
In a new relationship, we build belief that the other person loves and wants to be with us.
If we don’t build belief? The new thing doesn’t work out so well, because your brain never feels truly safe.
Like if we didn’t believe we could sit on a toilet. That would make for a very unfortunate, and unsanitary society.
Your current toilet
So what’s your current toilet? What’s the thing that, if you believed in it, would make your life 100% better? (I think toilets make our lives pretty darn fantastic.)
You’ve done this before. You learned to believe that toilets are safe. So what is it that you want, and can you treat learning to believe in it just as normal as learning to believe you can sit on a toilet?
I know this is a random, and somewhat gross analogy, but the point is that everything “normal” in our life that we use or do, we use or do because we BELIEVE we can. When we were learning to use it, it wasn’t normal.
Keep this in mind for any goals you have yet to conquer. If you persist and use repetition, achieving your goals will become just something you do.
Just like, say it with me, using the toilet.
Work with me
The reason we have a hard time building belief in something is because of all the dramatic thinking we can have around it. I can help you see that thinking, and teach you how to change it.