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I’ve had this visual popping into my head lately.
When trying to explain how I coach to people, because it’s so conceptual I can have a hard time helping people really grasp it. But this picture that came into my head helps.
Let me explain. Imagine the water in this photo represents your programmed mind. Represented physically by specific areas of your brain, this is the part of your mind that’s already set. That’s not to say that things can’t change in the sea of your mind, but it’s so vast, and teeming with so much information, that it can be unrealistic to try and change the sea completely. But in the sea is where you spend most of your time, sometimes just below the surface, other times down in the depths.
When it comes to coaching my clients, what I want to help them achieve is getting their inner vision to break the surface of the water, so they understand what is outside of the sea. Tools like meditation and mindfulness facilitate this. Powerful therapy and/or coaching sessions can also facilitate this.
The point is, there is the sea, and then there is the sky. Imagine the sky as your ability to rise above your own thinking mind.
Down in the sea of your thinking mind you swim. Up in the sky of your enlightened mind, you fly.
Only swimming is necessary to make it through life as a human, but learning to fly is super fun.
The sky above the sea is the area of your mind that not only invites new thought and imagines new possibilities, but it is the area of your mind that is always calm. It’s far more serene, and far less emotional.
That’s not to give emotions a bad rap. Emotions are incredible tools that facilitate communication between the brain and body. But we’ve all been subject to a choppy sea creating a stormy emotional state. When that happens, if you can pop your vision above the surface of the sea, you can find a calm space.
Calm does not equal happy, that is not where happiness comes from. Happiness is actually a pretty excited emotion, definitely produced within the sea (so that’s a good reason to do some work on the sea too). But calm, just feeling grounded, contented, and observant, creates a completely different life experience.
I know because I’ve lived both deep in the sea, but have also developed the skill of accessing the sky quite frequently.
What keeps us sea-bound are anchors, or highly repetitive, efficient thoughts. Thoughts that are so repetitive they’re almost undetectable. Almost.
Some of these anchors keep us swimming in the right place, but some keep us swimming in an area of the sea we’d rather leave, but it feels like an invisible tether keeps us stuck.
But if you find that anchor, and then take it up into the sky to examine it, you can not only create a higher level of self-awareness, but figure out how to cut the tether to that anchor.
One way to do that is by using the self-auditing tool I developed called WEB. It’s surprisingly simple, and can quickly help you anchor aweigh. (Yep, that’s the technical term for when the anchor is out of the ground and clear of the sea bed.) I wrote a 5 part blog series that explains WEB. I also created a worksheet that you can access in pdf form here.
It’s really powerful to start auditing your own mind for what is anchoring you to behaviors you’ve wanted to change, but just haven’t been able to.
You’re just stuck in the sea, and that’s ok, because the sky is always there.