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You’re on a tightrope. Don’t worry, you’re not high above the ground like in the above photo, but you’d prefer to not lose your footing because if you do, it means you’ve committed to staying on one side of the rope rather than the other.
But as you look at the ground from side to side, you swear the grass looks a little greener each time you change your view. First you look to the right, and that grass looks green and lush. Then you look to the left, and that grass looks a little bit thicker. Then back to the right and, wow! Did that grass just turn slightly greener? And back to the left and you swear the grass there all of a sudden is much more inviting. And while you’re doing this mental dance, you’re also having to concentrate on staying on the tightrope because you just can’t pick a side to step down onto.
Stuck In Indecision
This is what it feels like to be stuck in indecision. It’s natural for our Big Brain to keep us hemming and hawing over what we should do. And guess why Big Brain likes to do this? Because it keeps us from taking action, and if there’s no action, you’re safe for the time being. (Unless it’s time to hide from a bear, but then again, you wouldn’t be on a figurative tightrope in that situation. Live or Die? You know which side to commit to.)
Being stuck on the tightrope is not where we want to be when trying to make a decision. It takes a lot of focused concentration to stay on a tightrope. And all that focused concentration means you have to dedicate A LOT of time to that task. And time dedicated to the tightrope means time stolen from the thing you’re trying to make a decision about.
No Wrong Decision
What if there was no wrong decision? What if you just stepped off the tightrope? By taking that action you can really take in your surroundings, and just move in the direction you’ve chosen.
I know it’s scary to think about making the wrong choice, but what I want to offer is that there is no wrong choice. Might there be a lesson in the choice you make that brings you back around to the other side? Sure. But there is a lot of value in making a mistake. When you make a mistake, you find out what doesn’t work. Knowing what doesn’t work is just as valuable as knowing what does, and having that knowledge could affect your future in a very positive way.
Quit Spinning Your Wheels
Spinning your wheels trying to stay on the tightrope results in fatigue and confusion. There’s nothing confusing about just making a choice and seeing where it leads you. If you’re worried that the choice will make you look stupid, you’re stuck in a fixed, rather than growth mindset. Growth is messy. It’s uncomfortable. It demands risk and failure. But it also creates knowledge, confidence, and expertise. Most extraordinary humans on this planet weren’t born that way. They grew into that version of themselves, because they were willing to step off the tightrope time and time again.
When your brain creates fear about stepping off that tightrope, it’s just trying to do you a solid, keeping you safe from a perceived chaotic environment. But you have Little Brain on your side to allow you to step outside of that fear-based thinking, and just go for it.
Work with me
Want to get off that tightrope fast? A coach who specializes in causal coaching, which will actually find the root thinking getting in your way, can help. I just so happen to use that very modality in my coaching.