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How maybe makes things messy

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Are you a hedger?

You know, someone who doesn’t like to make a decision. Someone who leans on “maybe” more than yes or no.

That used to be me. (And if we’re being honest, sometimes still is.)

I used to live in the land of “I don’t know”, “Up to you”, and “Maybe”. I would push off making a decision for long periods of time.

Maybe is a nice, cushy word that creates space around making a decision. The problem is, the longer you say maybe, the longer it takes to see a result.

 

Why do we get stuck in maybe? For me it was connected to a deep fear of “doing it wrong.”

 

Didn’t matter what “it” was. I had a deep seated fear of messing just about anything up and suffering through the consequences, even though I couldn’t tell you what the consequences were.

Answering with an affirmative YES or NO can be scary. That fear is attached to story your brain has created. There’s no proof or truth to it, but if you’ve had a strong emotional reaction to failure in the past, like going all the way back to childhood past, then hedging with the word “maybe” has likely become attached to a sense of safety.

What if you could still feel safe, but always answer with an affirmative YES or NO?

The emotional state of “safety” comes from the mind, not outside circumstance. A storm chaser can be close to a tornado yet still feel safe because of the story and expectation their mind is creating.

 

One of the best ways to get yourself out of maybe-land is to commit yourself to saying yes or no. This will definitely create a lot of discomfort in your body. Don’t worry, that discomfort is just the chemicals of emotion. Your body was designed to handle it.

 

The more you expose yourself to the emotions that create discomfort, the more acclimated and even desensitized you’ll become to them.

You’ll be able to toss “maybe” in the trash, and always make a decision.

It’s normal to need a little help with this process, and as a coach I can get you through it.

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Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash.